Monday, November 8, 2010

I Forget

Sometimes I forget.

Her sentences roll off her tongue like water.

She looks deep into my eyes and smiles and laughs.

Maybe They are wrong

Maybe we’re all overreacting.

Then I read some list.

In some magazine or book.

Telling me what she should do.

Who she should be.

Its intent is to educate.

But to me, it’s a prison sentence.

I hear two children playing pretend.

I’m the mommy and you’re the daddy,

While she screams.

Because she is too literal, too precise.

She is wrapped up in her own logic.

I am not the mommy and you are not the daddy.

She screams when the vacuum leaves its cave.

Or when the broom sweeps away her crumbs.

She screams while the water rushes.

When the wind howls.

She screams and she screams and she screams.

I am forced to remember.

She wont hit those milestones on that list

When They say she should.

She’s not like those children playing pretend.

I am the mommy and you are the daddy.

She is Not Otherwise Specified.

This is not how I imagined.

There are no tea parties.

No playing house.

I am not the mommy and you are not the daddy.

There are no dance recitals in pink tutus

With video recorders and rounds of applause.

Sometimes it makes me cry.

And he cries, too.

And after the pity party

We remember.

I remember.

She is ours.

She is just as He intended.

She is who she is and she is ours.

She can do this.

We can do this.

We’ve only just begun.


Dani G said...

Yep. All of it.

And even though she won't hit those milestones when the magazine says she should, she WILL hit them. She will.

She's right where she's supposed to be.


histreasure said... have been awesome and though i cannot even begin to imagine hot it is, i read ur experiences here and i know u r an awesome mummy..

more Grace ur way!

Sarah said...

Erin, that's beautiful.
Haven't visited for a while, but I can't believe how much Abbie has grown and changed.
<3 <3 <3

Kerri said...

Justin and I had one of those tearful moments last night after a rough day on our part. Thanks for these words. Em and Abby are great kids and are who they are because they are meant to be wonderful beautiful little girls and nothing else! Even if my girl hasn't hit those milestones, she amazes me every day.

My name is Erin. said...

Thanks, Everyone-
It's been so long since I've posted anything. It's a nice surprise to get comments at all. I'm truly thankful. This is a poem I wrote for my creative writing class and it's a spin off of blog posting a did last year.
Great to hear from you all. XO

The Meredith Family said...

Erin. THat was great. Im sure that at times it is hard to accept the way she is.... I cant imagine...but one thing I do know is this... The bible tells us that we are Fearfully and wonderfully made!! And we are made in HIS image. It doesnt say SOME of us.... its all of us! We all have special gifts to be used to glorify HIM and to bring people to HIS kingdom! Abby is no exeption! I cant wait to hear all the wonderful things she will do in her life on her terms and in HIS perfect timing. We all want our kids to do the things the other kids are doing... and we all want them to acheive... as parents that is how we are wired...Its our jobs to do the best we know how... and to seek HIS will for their lives. She is right where she needs to be.... I can only imagine how close to Jesus she is. He has her wrapped in His embrace. He loves her more than anyone ever could! And he knows the plans he has for her...Jeremiah 1:9. YOU are a WONDERFUL mom! YOu were chosen to be Abbys! Wow!! That means... HE loves you so much!! What a gift! Love you! I hope this encourages you to keep up the good work!