Giving Thanks

Today I am thankful for so many things.

But specifically here on The Gentle Giant, I am thankful for:

* Breakthroughs big and small.

* Milestones reached, even if they are a year or two after

all the baby books said they would be.

* Hearing my girl say, "I love you, Mom!" even when it is followed by, "Now can I have cheese?" when it's an hour and a half past bedtime and she is reaching for some other way to stay up a little later.

* Realizing how "typical" that type of behavior is and relishing in those typical moments.

* Meeting such wonderful people throughout the blogosphere who encourage me to carry on, both in life and in my writing.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today I hope people will take a moment to view Thanksgiving through the eyes

of the Native Americans and not the Pilgrims.

The Native people who were displaced from their homes and massacred all in the name of Manifest Destiny and "religious freedom".

While I always take time to count my blessings and give thanks on this "holiday" I also try to think honestly about the Native people of this beautiful country and remember them today in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you will, too.

Abby's Map

I'm sure that some of my readers out there are curious as to what high-functioning Autistic even means. Some days, I wonder myself. Ha! So far what I've come to is that at times Abby seems totally typical. She will speak clearly, concisely and intelligently and we'll wonder, "Is she even Autistic? Am I raising her to think she has something that she doesn't?" And some of Abby's grandparents have expressed some similar concerns. I think it's valid to wonder. And even though I live with her daily and have been to the Parent/Teacher conferences enough to know that we're pretty much in agreement that she is somewhere on that broad spectrum of Autism, the line between typical and high-functioning Autism can be a bit blurry.

I had forgotten about this video. I recorded it a couple of months ago. I recently watched it again and found it interesting how it was such a good example of the tics that ARE Abby's Autism. This is a great example of what it's like when Abby's is "ASD-ing out" as I've begun to think of it. Much of the time she behaves very much like a typical 4 year old, but at times like this, she is definitely a kid who lands on the Autism Spectrum. She loves this map and often can point to many different States after being asked only once and can even tell you who in our family lives where, all without the various noises and hand tics.



She kind of pulls it together in the end, though I still have no idea what she is talking about at 1:55, something being raunchy? I don't know. But what makes this video such a great example is that it shows how she flows from typical to autistic behavior. And some days are better than others. Some days, the tics don't seem to affect her hardly at all. Other days, she seems consumed by them, finds it hard to communicate effectively and those are the days we experience more screams and whines.

Hope you are all remembering to take time to enjoy your days as we approach the busy holiday season. I am so swamped with homework and feeling so overwhelmed, but I'm trying to take time to enjoy my kids each day and to do something I enjoy. Yesterday I finished off the chalkboard I created on one of the cabinets in our kitchen. I get so much satisfaction from finishing these projects. Today, I am going to finish painting the living room walls and the bulkhead in the kitchen... and do a ton of homework. I hope. *fingers crossed*

Blogging at 1 a.m.

I should be sleeping and my new laptop (yayyy!!!) is begging to be plugged in, but... I'm going to blog anyway.

We had an interesting afternoon today. Abby went out with her dad to run errands. They arrived home and I heard Abby screaming all the way in from the car to the house.

Whine, whine, whine, scream, whine, scream, scream, whine, whine.

That's pretty much how it went. I asked him if everything was ok on their errands. He said that she she had been fine. She wanted to stay outside, but he said she could go back out after lunch. I asked him if it was ok with him if she had a picnic outside on the deck. It was a brisk, but beautiful day. He agreed. Meanwhile, Abby laid on the floor and screamed through this whole conversation.

Scream, scream, whine, scream.

We tried over and over to assure her that she was indeed going to go back outside. We told her she needed to wash her hands before lunch, like usual.

Whine, scream, scream, whine, whine, scream.

"Abby. As soon as you wash your hands..."

Whine, scream, whine, scream, scream, scream.

you can go outside!"

Scream, whine, scream.

Hands washed, screaming the entire time, Abby was "escorted" outside, where she screamed some more about wanting to be outside.

Ummm... she IS outside.

She screamed until I sat in front of her, face in my hands saying, "Abby you ARE outside. Shh, shh. This is what you wanted. You're outside. It's ok. Stop screaming. You are OUTSIDE." I asked if she needed a hug and she took me up on that offer. She felt a little limp from all that screaming she'd done.I've been noticing lately that Abby has a tendency to hear what she wants to hear and sometimes, apparently, what she doesn't want to hear. Maybe this is human nature, whatever that means, but with Ab, she really has a hard time letting go. Once it's in her mind, it's stuck there, until something jars her attention to reality. And unfortunately, that can take some time. And can be a pretty loud ordeal. Ugh. Exhausting... for everyone involved.

Now before you start praising me for being so patient and understanding and you "don't know how I do it"(which I really appreciate btw)... I was not all patient and poised. I raised my voice a couple of times. I tried muffling some screams in an attempt to keep Bean from being woken up. Abby's dad and I had to trade tasks a couple of times to let the other one take a breather to regroup. I was glad he was there. We make a pretty good team. Keeping each other in check. Giving each other an understanding and knowing glance. Sometimes making the situation worse, by giving in to our frustration and taking it out on each other. But in the end, we love each other more for it. No one knows our child better than we do. We're all in this together. Thank, God!

Melisa over at The Lil Bee does a recurring list of 5 things you'd like to accomplish in your lifetime. I love reading what other people have on their lists and today she is featuring MINE! This is such an honor as I read her blog almost daily. If you've never checked out the Bee, please do. She is funny, insightful and has great taste. She also just had a baby who is super sweet and if you are in need of a good laugh, go read about Melisa's adventures in lamaze class. Hilarious stuff, folks!

Gah! I'm just giddy! It really is such an honor to be mentioned on The Lil Bee! Thanks, Melisa!

Two Years Ago

Abby's little brother, Bean (his nickname), was born at the end of October in 2007. She was so sweet when she visited us in the hospital. She was only 2 years, 4 months old and we were still being told she was just "strong willed". She barely spoke anything except to repeat what she heard us say. What we learned later was called echolalia. When she came into the hospital room to meet her brother, she climbed into bed with me and said that Bean was "sooo cute". I was terrified to have a brand new baby and a "strong willed" two-year old. But when Abby declared that her new baby brother was "sooo cute" I knew we would figure it out and that everything was going to be ok. More than ok... we'd be great.


Abby & Bean are great friends. He's starting to annoy her more and more these days, but she is learning to stand up for herself and I've realized that in many ways, Beanie will be her greatest friend and teacher. It's with him that she is learning how to be social. How to battle for what she wants and for what she needs. He makes her laugh and I think he pushes her to try new things and have more faith in her own abilities. Bean already speaks quite well for his age and says five new things everyday. I wonder if Abby's verbal growth this Summer had as much to do with her brother's talking as much as the therapies she had at school, too.


I'm learning a lot from Bean, too. Like that parenting is hard. Period. Having a special needs child for my first child, I assumed that most of our trials and tribualtions had to do with Abby's Autism. I was wrong. Bean challenges our patience daily and I tell you... when he looks me in the eye as he rips another leaf off of the house plant I just told him to be "gentle" with... the vein in my neck bulges and I think to myself, "he is soooo lucky that he is so freakin' cute!" Because, man oh man! It's a lot easier to keep your patience when you know that the behavior can be partially blamed on Autism. With a typical kid... not so much! Time outs are a frequent occurance in our home these days. And Abby is just the innocent bystander. For once... she is my easy child.

Oh, the terribly terrific two's.

(this is what most of the photos of the two of them together look like...
constantly moving and I'm too lazy to look up the correct setting to capture them.
One of these days...)

My Review of Euro II Grow With Me Chair

Originally submitted at One Step Ahead

Built for growth spurts! Give your child our beautiful solid wood chair now, and someday he'll take it to college! Both the seat and footrest adjust to fit tots, growing kids, even adults up to 150 lbs. Built to last, and about half the price you'd pay elsewhere. Cushion included. Supports ...

Euro II Grow With Me Chair

I am buying chair #2 because we love it!

By Erin the Student of Life from Michigan on 11/12/2009

 

4out of 5

Gift: No

Pros: Easily Assembled, Easy To Clean, Durable, Stable, Comfortable

Cons: Not Enough Padding, Pad is cheap

Best Uses: Toddlers

Describe Yourself: Parent of Two or More Children

We bought this for my daughter and we love it. It matches our dining table & chairs and looks nice. It doesn't feel like we have a toddler chair at the table. We are buying a second one for our 2 year old son. My only complaint is that the cushion is poorly made. It fell apart & I've had to do some fancy fixing to make it look nice & function ok. But the chair itself is GREAT! I recommend it to friends all the time!

(legalese)

Stop The Presses!

This is what Abby's dad's Facebook status says tonight:

"NEWS: This is the first night since Abrielle got the CD,

They Might Be Giants- Here come the 1,2,3's,

exactly 2 years-4 months-5 days that we have not played it for her when she goes to sleep.

This CD is her crack!

Yes that is right 858 days of the 1,2,3's.....

the funny part is I still love that CD just as much as she does.

Ahhhh, my lil Ab!"

Normally, the mere suggestion of listening to a different cd at bedtime is enough to elicit shrill screams of protest from Abby, which have more than once led to a meltdown. And yet tonight, as we got ready for bed and had a "Pajama Party with Two Dancin' Dogs" (from a Charlie & Lola book), she was willing to dance to something besides They Might Be Giants.
I was not sure I'd ever see the day.

Spinning

Abby spinning round and round on the swing.

I so remember doing this as a young girl.

She even let her brother take a turn.