Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Propping my Chin Up

I'm feeling a little discouraged today, but I'm really trying to not let it get me down. Abby has made such progress in so many areas and yet I've noticed a little regression in others. I may have mentioned before that she is talking so much more this Summer. It's truly amazing. Just a few minutes ago, she suggested I turn off the lamp since the overhead light was on, because "it's too very shiny in Abby's eyes." And there are times that I can't keep up with her chattering. I really do love it!

I posted a while back about how Abby would let me do some pretty intricate hair styles. I also mentioned that maybe we would go get her hair cut for her 4th birthday. Well the best ideas often do not come to pass. Sometime this summer (I've blocked out the exact month and day) as I was getting Abby dressed and doing her hair, I discovered that she had gotten some tree sap in her hair the day before. It was a HUGE glob and there was just no getting it out. (Since this time, I've re-discovered the miracle of Goo-Gone) So I was forced to cut her hair. This freaked me out, which in turn freaked Abby out. Her hair cut turned out cute, which is nothing shy of a miracle, but now I can barely brush her hair without a scream fest and much anxiety on her part. Gone are the days of pretty braids and relaxing mother-daughter hair styling sessions. I have faith that they will return, but "when?" is the question.

We also made the mistake of introducing flash lights to bedtime. We thought it would be fun, but little did we know the chaos that would ensue. Abby has never been afraid of the dark. And yet with the introduction of flashlights to the routine, suddenly she wants two lamps, two nightlights, her flashlight, her GloWorm and her Moon Light. After all that, we may as well turn on the overhead light. We obliged some of this behavior for a while. Turning off each light one-by-one over the first 20 minutes of bed-time, eventually leaving only her nightlights and flash lights. But then she'd fall asleep with her flashlight on and if we forgot to sneak in and turn it off, it would run out of batteries. Then we'd wake up at 3-4:30 AM to Abby SCREAMING her head off, because her flashlight was out of batteries. And the screaming would only stop once the batteries were replaced. Well... I've had enough of that! All flashlights have been removed from the situation. No more flashlights at bedtime. Last night was the first night without them and it went well. Fingers crossed that the quiet nights continue.

The scream-fests that Abby is famous for had really subsided. It was so nice & encouraging. Now we've had to experience quite a few this last week or so. We had one first thing this morning actually, because I wasn't ready for bright over head lighting at 7:30 AM (it's too very shiny in Mama's eyes... haha!) and only had the lamp on in the family room. She FREAKED OUT because she wanted all of the lights on. I sent her back to bed and told her she could get up when she was ready to interact with the family without screaming. What a great way to start the day. Ugh!

So I am propping my chin up and carrying on. What else can I do?


RitaSV said...

You are doing everything that you should be. There is no harm in setting standards and you know exactly when to hold the line! Her progress is not due just to school, or her exceptional intelligence but also because her Mom and Dad stick to their guns at the same time as loving her abundantly! Don't lose heart!

As for the hair issue...I wonder if she would have fun just playing with your hair for a while....sort of replacing bad hair memories with good ones. Then you might be able to sneak in a 'Mommy's turn'....LOL

My name is Erin. said...

I accidentally deleted very kind and encouraging comments from Trojan and Gloria. Thank you! I'm so sorry they got deleted.

Trojan- Thank you! My first goal with this blog is to get some things off of my chest. Just writing about it makes it easier to handle. And if I help someone else along the way, then we've really accomplished something! I'm a pretty honest person. I value honesty above all else. It's only when we are honest with ourselves and in turn others, that we can really and truly make progress in our lives.

Gloria- Thank you! Sometimes a hug is all we need.

Rita- Thank you for the encouragement. We certainly try. Good idea letting Abby do my hair first. I'll try that out. I almost posted an addendum to this posting, because I did her hair afterward and she was very cooperative and didn't scream at all. I made sure to make note of it and let her know how much I appreciated it.

Gloria said...

You know Erin, I am learning that very lesson . . about being open and honest 'cos sometimes that's very hard to do especially if we feel that sometimes we do not or have not acted in the best possible manner but at the end of the day we're all just human and as long as we learn from our mistakes then it's all good.

Trojan Gayle said...

Great to read that yo managed to find some resolution to the "screaming" incident. My mum and I spoke about your situation and she shared a little story about what I was i like when i was younger! It seems every mum has days like yours.

Seems Rita suggestion might be a good one to try. Life is full of trial and error!

My name is Erin. said...

Trojan- I think that some of the most encouraging comments that I receive about this blog are from mom's of "typical" kids. They share that so many of my struggles are like their struggles. This helps me feel less alone and also maybe makes our story hit a little closer to home for them, too.